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With a title like “Deadly Snake Wrangler” you know you’re in for a good romp. One of my most favorite DJ moments was when Mike was bit by a snake and danced around like his feet were on fire. This is when I fell truly in love with my TiVo. The ability to play the moment back over and over again transformed the way I watched TV. Spoiler Alert: I spoke with Mike the other day and I have it on good authority he was not killed by a deadly snake. Let’s roll tape.

07:00: Ooo, we get a warning: “Due to extreme danger, do not attempt to duplicate.” Thanks for that. For the record I like to live my life by two precepts: 1) If someone tells me a snake is deadly, I would never handle it. 2) If Mike does something on TV, I’m going to avoid that like the plague.

07:00: I think I would like to own a Didgeridoo. Feels like I could make some pretty cool music on one of those things without having to read music which I can’t do. Perhaps someone will be inspired to send Mike a Didgeridoo and I can intercept it at the office. Better yet; maybe he bought me one for Christmas while he was down under. Fingers crossed.

07:01: Look at that Outback. And here I was thinking the Outback was just for steaks and bloomin’ onions. Might be time to change my computer wallpaper and swap out my kittens hanging from a tree limb with the words “Hang in there, baby” for some Outback scenes (the country not the bloomin’ onion place.)

07:02: When it comes to the mention of snakes, I’m going to have to side with Indiana Jones on this one.

07:03: Just so you know I’m an awesome driver when it comes to following. Always use my signal. Always keep the tail vehicle in sight. Never speed up through red lights. It’s a gift.

07:03: Adelaide: “Most venomous snakes than any town on the planet.” Two things: 1) I’m never moving to Adelaide. 2) If they know they are the venomous snake capitol of the planet why wouldn’t they do something to change that? Maybe that’s what Mike’s going to do. Not sure if he’s going to catch enough snakes to make a dent in those numbers.

07:03: Driving around this town doesn’t look like it would be crawling with snakes. This is a living nightmare, folks.

07:04: 80 snake calls a day. We’ll say $25 bucks a call. That’s like… a million dollars are day. (Full disclosure — not good with math.)

07:05: Okay, looking at that snake bite has me throwing up in my mouth a little bit.

07:06: Very diplomatic way to handle the cheese talk, Mike.

07:07: You see that look Mike just made when he was told the snakes have to be released back in the wild… the deadly snakes? Yeah… that’s my look too. Next time you hear about American regulations being a hindrance to a free way of life think of the brown snakes in Adelaide.

07:08: Best way to avoid a deadly snake biting through your glove? Don’t come within ten miles of the deadly snake while wearing the glove.

07:09: Seriously, if I had to do this job I would wake up screaming. Scream while I was having breakfast. Scream brushing my teeth. Scream on the way into work. Scream during the actual job. Scream on my lunch break. Scream on the way home. Scream during dinner. And finally, scream myself to sleep.

07:10: I get being careful holding the snake by the jaw. It’s letting go of that sucker that would get my screaming.

07:11: So has anyone in the Adelaide government even proposed the idea of killing the snakes that can kill the population? Was it ever discussed? Voted on? Are the locals down with this idea? I’m absolutely flabbergasted at this concept.

07:12: “Apprentice always does everything.” Remind me not to be anybody’s apprentice.

07:13: What would you do if you only have 14 minutes to life? My mind boggles at the possibilities.

07:13: “Litter of poisonous kittens.” I’m totally pitching that as a SyFy movie of the week. I’m going to call it: “Killer Kitty.”

07:14: I think I want a pair of those leather gloves for ordinary day to day use. I may never take them off.

07:15: “Grab that deadly snake that can kill you in 14 minutes.” Mike says, “It goes against my instinct.” Good instinct, Mike. Stick with that.

07:16: Very lovely neighborhoods if it wasn’t for all of those venomous snakes. Seriously, this is what these folks deal with everyday? I’m literally sitting here freaking out. See “screaming” from above.

07:17: “Bit of a mouse plague.” What circle of hell are these people living in?

07:18: WHAT? THE SNAKE IS IN THE PANTRY! SAVE THE NUTELLA!

07:21: Here’s how I would do that job. Catch the snake. Make sure everyone is safe and then I would beat it with brick.

07:22: He’s putting the snake in a pillow case? There goes any hope of my ever sleeping again on a pillow.

07:23: Okay, I want to know how many snake guys like Ian have died. Let’s get real.

07:24: After releasing the snake in the wild do they ever come back like a lost dog?

07:25: Darwin sounds like my kind of town except for all the toads.

07:26: “Don’t lick a toad.” Gonna put that on T-shirts, bumper sticks, magnets… I would embroider it on my pillow but I’ve just burnt all my pillows and pillowcases.

07:27: Finally, an eating contest among the crew. Now this is something I can get behind and actively participate in. BTW, what is that thing? I don’t know but I want three of them.

07:28: Now the Toad Master is somebody I wanna get a beer with.

07:29: Toad Cam! Love it.

07:30: Wait, didn’t Mark Twain write something about toad jumping? Or was that frogs? Which begs the question… say it with me… what’s the difference between a toad and a frog?

07:31: Toadbuster Guy. That’s my hero. He should have a comic book.

07:34: Back in the day, I have fond memories of spending warm summer nights chasing lightening bugs. The goal was to catch enough to fill up a jar. Then you let them go. Not really challenging but good times all around. And I can promise you it was a lot better than chasing poisonous toads in the middle of the night.

07:35: “If you see any bright, shiny red eyes staring out you can start to worry.” Yeah, I’ll start to worry right after I’m done running for a mile in the opposite direction.

07:36: I wouldn’t have thought that catching toads would be so easy. Mike is just grabbing them up with no effort.

07:37: Okay, I hate the toads. Seriously. Not a fan but as they were put to death, I choked up a little bit. Then I played back the images of the toads running around and I got over it.

07:38: Frozen toad on a stick. If I see that at next year’s Iowa State Fair I’m gonna freak out.

07:39: One wonders what makes a mayor a Lord Mayor.

07:40: “The toad not taken.” Perfect circle of life moment. Thanks, Mike.

07:40: Full disclosure: I just spent the morning picking up some Dirty Job items sent in to the production offices and delivered them to the palatial offices of MRW. If there had been a frozen toad mobile in that bunch of stuff I would have quit on the spot. It’s bad enough I had to cart off the big plastic shark that Mike made with his own hands but frozen toads is where I draw the line.

— Meyer

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One Comment

    1. I suppose I would be in jail if I lived in Australia, I’d kill every one of those Brown Snakes that I encountered. I wonder how many people actually do that and bury the evidence in the backyard. I wonder if Ian does that, couldn’t of course on a TV show. I was so horrified by the protected snakes that are crawling into kids bedrooms that I had trouble paying attention to the poisonous toad segment. I was amazed people were laughing at the attempts to capture the snake in the pantry, I would have been outside standing on the roof of my car. Are Australians upset that it is against the law to kill poisonous snakes? Yes, do they find their way back home? I wondered that too. Do they check their pool for deadly snakes before they jump in? They found 3 baby deadly snakes, there could be 30. What?? What?? I would always be armed if I lived in Australia.

      Great blogging as always Meyer, I always enjoy them very much.

      Kay | 09/01/12 | 9:15 am