Mike Rowe here, Dirty Jobs™, etc. This is the first Press Release penned by yours truly. If it works, there will be more. If it doesn’t, I’ll hire an actual publicist. I would prefer not to however because I’m cheap. I’ll be brief.
Walmart and Lowe’s are now carrying a new cleaning product called Dirty Jobs™ Complete. Technically, it’s a laundry booster and since it’s named after the TV show that I created, I’m rather anxious to see it succeed. Toward that end, I want to announce a new website called trydirtyjobs.com. I invite you to go there and print out a coupon for the 52/62 oz container that will save you $3.00. Then, I would really appreciate it if you’d go to the nearest Walmart or Lowe’s and buy some.
Purchasing Dirty Jobs™ Complete in this fashion will accomplish three goals. First, it will get all sorts of disgusting stains out of your clothes that your current laundry detergent probably can’t handle. Secondly, it will save you $3.00. Thirdly, and most importantly to me, every coupon redeemed will benefit the mikeroweWORKS Foundation.
In spite of its name, the mikeroweWORKS Foundation does not benefit Mike Rowe – it benefits men and women who wish to pursue a career in the skilled trades. We subsidize apprenticeships and other forms of skills training. In exchange for my shameless plugs, the makers of Dirty Jobs™ Complete have agreed to contribute a dollar of every $3.00 coupon redeemed to the mikeroweWORKS Foundation – a generous donation that will go far to help rescue polite society from the siren song of soft living and instant gratification.
Hyperbole aside, our country is on the verge of screwing itself. College grads are unemployed at record numbers, and still, we cling to the notion that an obscenely expensive four-year degree is the only path to a decent career. Nonsense. Right now, dozens of companies can’t find people with the right skills to do the most essential kind of work. The result is a weird and widening Skills Gap which should scare the hell out of anyone who shares my addiction to paved roads, heating, air-conditioning and indoor plumbing. The purpose of mikeroweWORKS is to help close this Skills Gap before civilized life comes crashing down around us. This is my attempt to guilt you into helping.
Look, I realize there are a gajillion cleaning products out there, and I suspect you were not waiting for another one to come along and change your life with a bunch of rainbows and unicorns and mindless hoop-de-doodle. Don’t worry – this ain’t that. Dirty Jobs™ Complete is a kick-ass laundry booster that will absolutely positively get the crap out of your clothes. And by crap, I mean just about anything, including actual crap….that’s right, feces from every species. Trust me, I’ve been there. And now, the simple act of getting the stains out of your underpants will bolster my modest efforts to save America. Is this a great country or what? Seriously, the mikeroweWORKS Foundation has already received over a million dollars to help reinvigorate the trades. That’s great, but we need more. A lot more. And your personal commitment to a stain-free wardrobe will help.
Go to http://trydirtyjobs.com
Get a $3.00 coupon for Dirty Jobs™ Complete.
Go to Walmart or Lowe’s.
Save three bucks.
Start looking and smelling better than average.
Help close the Skills Gap.
Feel good about yourself.
That’s it. Thanks, and keep it clean.
PS. I’m told that all official press releases should include some way to contact the author. With respect, I have a new cell phone and would prefer to keep the number private for as long as possible. My masters however, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Mention Adam Lerner. He runs the show. If you can’t get Adam (who is really terribly busy,) you can call my office at (310) 857-3525. Leave a message for Amanda. She has no real authority but she can probably find Adam.
As for trydirtyjobs.com , that should be easy enough to locate online. And if you can’t find a nearby Walmart or Lowe’s store, I can’t help you. You’ve got bigger problems than dirty laundry.
View ~ Mike Rowe, the CEO of Dirt, comes clean and asks for help (VIDEO) – HERE