I’ve been aware of it for years. It’s just one of those things I’ve had to live with. Yes, she’s a perfect wife to our son, Scott, and mother to our grandchildren. But…when it comes right down to it, I must admit that my daughter-in-law and I have an ‘unnatural’ relationship.
It’s never more obvious than when I open her refrigerator. It’s a given: butter and jelly on the top shelf right side, neatly labeled left-over containers on the second shelf, and beverages on the third, with the condiments in their rightful place on the door. Meat and cheese are stored in the appropriate drawer, of course, with fresh produce in the two bottom drawers — greens on the left, fruit on the right.
When I open my refrigerator door, there are two givens: cold air, and a scavenger hunt. Oh, there’s food, but nothing has its ‘rightful’ place. I always return from visits to our son’s inspired and determined to shape up. It works for a while, but before long we’re back to plopping containers randomly and shoving them about. John once declared that he felt like Indiana Jones searching for the lost jelly.
Then there are Marjie’s cupboards, where dishes are meticulously arranged, with cup handles all facing in the same 
direction and glasses grouped according to size.
When my cupboards are hopelessly cluttered, John, will jokingly say, “It’s time to invite Marjie over. She’ll whip this place into shape.” It used to bother me that whenever he saw me cleaning or straightening, he just assumed our son’s family was coming.
It isn’t natural! Everyone knows that the mother-in-law sets the example for home-making perfection. Sadly, my mother passed along only one gene for organizing; my sister got it.
When our granddaughters were growing up, John and I would stare in awe at the weekly calendars and color-coded charts perched around the kitchen. There was never a doubt as to whose turn it was to take out the trash, walk the dogs, fold laundry, or unload the dishwasher. Katie never forgot her work schedule, nor Jessie, her basketball schedule. Nothing was left to chance.
I remember the week Marjie’s parents visited them from out-of-town. We had them for dinner one evening, and they confided in us that our timing was perfect. The grandchildren were on sleepovers, and there was a red heart drawn on the kitchen calendar for that day. So naturally they concluded that Marjie and Scott would appreciate some privacy that evening. The four of us laughed and agreed that their daughter had taken planning to the extreme. We laughed again later when we learned that the red heart was a reminder to give the dogs their heart-worm pills.
My daughter-in-law and I have a warm and loving relationship, even if it is a tad unnatural. One day I’ll find her Achilles heel — a hopelessly cluttered closet perhaps… I don’t have time to think about it now, however. I have to polish the silverware and clean the bathrooms.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
7 Comments
Dear Mrs. Rowe,
I found your blog today due to the oddest of circumstances. I had a dream last night that Mike Rowe was in my yard doing yard work. I have no idea why. My yard does need some attention, but I don’t even have TV so the dream is a mystery to me. Avoiding both yard work and house work, I took a gander at this site. As a blogger and story writer myself (again, just a distraction from organizing my cupboards), I was impressed with all that you have written. Your stories are heartfelt, humorous, and a lovely read.
In addition, having grown up in rural Oregon and studying Agricultural Economics, I found the entire content of the website to be intriguing. I now have a favorite place to have my coffee-right here. Thank you again for sharing your stories.
Sincerely,
Gretchen Keyser
A hopeful clean closet, naturally.
It’s always a treat to read your blog’s Mrs. Rowe. You truly are blessed with a wonderful family. Thanks for sharing.
Lovely story!
Your daughter-in-law sounds like a very neat person. (Ha!) And I, too, was cursed with an organizing gene. But I’ve come to terms with it now (realizing I do it without even thinking) and keep it to myself …although, I must confess, living alone helps! (By the way, it can take years for friends to “forgive” you if they notice you accidentally “straightening up” their kitchens—and the fact that wine and analytical conversations might have played a part in creating a distraction doesn’t seem to make much difference either). Anyway, my sisters have given up their protesting and just let me do it now. But I definitely have to pay attention when I go visiting and try not to “help” too much–it just makes me a much more likeable guest in the long run. This was a cute story! I liked the scavenger hunt “theme!”
This is a sweet blog dedicated to your daughter-in-law. She sounds like a keeper.
I wish I was more like her myself, but alas my refrigerator is a treasure-trove of containers and whatnot as well. My sister is the organizer in our family. She and your DIL must have gone to the same class. I apparently, slept in that day…
Very nice story of your daughter-in-law. How lucky for you that you DO have a good relationship with them. She’ll drop her guard with Mr. Clean at some point. Only took about 22 years for me. Our priorities change with age.
Nice reflective story once again. Thanks for sharing.
Maureen