Most parents agree that they made mistakes raising their children. If they could only turn back the clock and try again… Though my husband and I fall into this category, there is one thing we got right: encouraging our boys’ involvement in Scouting. The Boy Scouts influenced our three sons in ways we could not, and opened a world of opportunities to them.
In 1972, the only thing my family knew about Scouting was that Troop 16 met in the basement of our church on Wednesday nights. When a recruiting poster appeared on the church bulletin board claiming that Scouting developed character and taught leadership skills, my husband and I decided our oldest son should join. We lived in a neighborhood with no other children. It sounded like a good way to expose him to kids, while instilling some worthwhile values.
“No thanks!” said ten-year-old Mike. “Scouting’s not for me. I don’t know anything about it.” 
We weren’t surprised. Our son hated trying anything new, or being the center of attention. He had refused to learn a musical instrument in the fourth grade, and to go roller skating with friends — because he didn’t know how.
It wasn’t in my makeup to force our children. My role models were June Cleaver and Carol Brady, after all, who sweet-talked, lovingly coaxed, and reasoned with their kids. It didn’t work with Mike, and in the end, we had to insist.
“All we’re asking is that you give it a try, son,” said John. “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to join.” I offered to go into that first meeting with him.
I don’t recall Mike’s exact words, but they were something along the lines of, “The only thing worse than entering a room full of strangers who stare at you and judge you, is being led in by your mother.”
I dropped him off one Wednesday evening, and watched him walk into the building as though he were entering the OR for major surgery. For the next two hours, I pictured poor Mike, alone and miserable — the only one not in uniform, and completely lost.
I returned early, in case he had taken refuge in the parking lot. Mike emerged from that first meeting with a non-committal expression and handed me an envelope. “This is for you,” he said. “I need a bunch of stuff.” I was encouraged.
That week, between trips to the Scout store, I filled out forms. When I saw the expression on John’s face as he looked at the receipt for the uniform, neckerchief, belt, hat, and socks–as well as a Scout book, I knew our son was in Scouts for the long haul — or at least as long as it took to outgrow that uniform.
The following Wednesday Mike left the meeting with a smile. He bounced onto the front seat of our station wagon and handed me a bulging envelope.
“This is for you–” roughly 10,000 patches to be sewn onto the uniform before the following Wednesday.
I slipped a thimble onto my finger and pushed a needle through layers of thick fabric while John helped our son learn the Scout pledge, sign, salute, and handshake. In the coming weeks, we would test him on the Scout oath, law, motto, and slogan. Each advancement in rank, and earned merit badge, sent me running to the sewing box. On the bright side, we no longer had to coerce Mike. Now, he reminded me when it was time for Scouts.
As luck would have it, Troop 16 had a Cub Scout pack for our two younger sons, Scott and Phil. Before I could click my heels three times and invoke the name Baden-Powell, I was a Cub Scout den mother, sewing patches and badges on four uniforms, including my own. The sewing box was a permanent fixture on the coffee table. Seven enthusiastic boys descended weekly on our basement. I planned activities and field trips and worked on projects, feeling like a classroom teacher again. While I attended monthly committee and pack meetings, John took his place on the Boy Scout committee, becoming a liaison between the church and Troop 16 and attending frequent meetings.
Several years later at an awards ceremony where all three boys had earned multiple Boy Scout merit badges, our middle son looked at me with a concerned expression. “What’s wrong, Mom? You don’t look so good.”
“Just a little indigestion,” I said, eyeing a mound of new badges and rubbing the ache in my thimble finger.
I’d had a vision of my role as Scout mother, way back when I sent Mike off to that first meeting: every Wednesday evening I would drop what I was doing and drive my son to a meeting; two hours later I would drive back and pick him up. Sure, it would be an intrusion into our family life, but I expected to sacrifice for my sons; they were worth it. I was even willing to bake some cookies from time to time. Silly me!
The current ‘troop projects’ involved not only the boys. In the winter, they piled into the station wagon with their father and delivered heavy boxes of Florida oranges they had sold to neighbors and church members. In the summer, they collected bundles of newspapers from neighbors for re-cycling. Gone, were carefree week-ends. When there wasn’t a camping trip, canoeing, hiking, or a jamboree, my husband and I were on duty as merit badge counselors: John worked with boys on their God and Country awards while I taught skills for the Horseman badge.
After spending three stressful weeks whittling chunks of balsa wood into racing cars for the ‘pinewood derby,’ I suggested adding a ‘truth-in-advertising’ clause about parent involvement, to the recruiting poster on the church bulletin board. The Scout committee thought I was kidding. At the same meeting, I raised my hand to suggest that a Scout’s first merit badge should be a mandatory ‘sewing’ badge. It occurred to me that they might make me the ‘sewing merit badge counselor.’ I put my hand down.
In retrospect, forcing Mike into that first meeting enriched all of our lives. The many benefits of Scouting are well documented. Successful people from all walks of life speak to the importance of Scouting in their lives — CEOs, presidents, astronauts, tradesmen, engineers, businessmen, and yes, even TV personalities. Mike credits Scouting with teaching him to stick with a task and see it through no matter how difficult or unpleasant. Scott thanks Scouting for prying him from his books and forcing him to interact with peers. Phil says that Scouting made him more self-reliant.
When our family was together recently, I asked my sons to share their favorite Scouting experience. I expected to hear about a canoe trip on the C&O Canal — a Scouting Expo — or a hike up Old Rag Mountain and that growling bear outside the tent… But they all agreed that it was the week they spent at Broad Creek Scout Camp every summer. John and I exchanged smiles, remembering that quiet, peaceful, self-indulgent week we’d spent in 1977 — the year all three of our boys left for camp together. They were 16, 13, and 11. Not even the smelly mess returning with them at the end of the week could spoil that week for us.
And, no, I’m not bitter that modern Boy Scout patches and badges are iron-on. And I’m sure there’s no connection between my arthritic fingers and sewing on badges and patches.
Yea, Boy Scouts!
115 Comments
As the dad of two Eagle Scouts, I laughed when you suggest the truth in advertising statement. I’ve been a Den Leader, Assistant Scoutmaster and Scoutmaster. The only thing different is that it was my wife who enjoyed those weeks the three of us went to summer camp.
Both boys are in their 30s now, but your letter brought back a flood of wonderful memeories. Like you, I’ve seen first hand what Scouting can do for a young person.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Mrs. Rowe
Did you happen to teach 2nd grade at Loch Raven Elementary in 1977 or 1978?
I fondly remember my 2nd grade teacher whose name was Mrs. Rowe. After learning that Mike Rowe was from Baltimore and my mom remembering that “Mrs. Rowe” had a son named Mike – I was curious!
Just wondering!
Thanks for your time,
Michael Potter
Thanks for sharing your slice of Scouting history and appreciation for the results in the lives of your kids.
I too went with a bit of coercion. And gained immeasurably.
Now my son has been all levels of Cubs and will receive his Star rank in December.
I sew every patch on as a joyful reminder of the investments of my son, his mom, his sisters, and me to help each of those ranks and merit badges come to be ‘owned’ and to be life-changing as he grows toward manhood and servant-hearted leadership towards his peers, family, church, and community.
while i was an eager member of pack 225 and troop 325, my mother had the same issues with sewing for me and my 2 brothers. Shortly after my oldest son joined cubscouts, I became a single parent with custody of my 4 kids, the 2 oldest being girls. My oldest daughter opted for a black powder explorer post, while the boys became scouts. My favorite story from my oldest son came, not during his scouting life, but rather after he enlisted in the army. As he tells it, they were out on a training exercise, in a downpour. When it came time to set up camp, he had his tent up and a fire going before many of the others had even started. All were staring in amazement at the fire, partly because it was still raining and wanted to know how he had accomplished this feat. He merely stated that the boy scouts had taught him many things, the first of which was BE PREPARED. YEA SCOUTS!!!
Mrs. Rowe,
I too am a mother to 3 sons who were in boy scouts (all Eagles), so your letter truly struck a cord with me. It brought back the memories of all of the den meetings, pinewood derby races, day camps, parades, Blue & Gold Banquets, popcorn sales,and lots of camping trips! Scouting has been a blessing to our family! No wonder the scouting movement has been alive an well for 100 years!
Thank you for your wonderful letter!
Mrs. Rowe,
God bless you! You are truly an inspiration!
And love…the badges aren’t iron on…yet! They just sell adhesive you can use now….
Cheers!
As a mother of (2) Eagle Scouts and (1) life scout your ENTIRE story could match my/my husbands past 11yrs. Starting in Cub Scouts, you name it we have either done it or been it! Den meetings, go-see-it’s, camping, mud, rain,hot sweaty, committee meeting, round tables, scout camp etc…I could go on an on!! (2) of our youngest just came back from 2010 Jamboree and saw YOUR son and was very impressed!! I really enjoyed your story and told the boys to reach for the star’s. BTW those iron on patches are a joke! My son lost one of in 2010 Jamboree patches last week, he was very disappointed! The needle & thread is always better!
I currently have two Life Scouts who are working their way towards Eagle. During a recent and very memorial conversation on our patio, each son indicated that Scouting had been a significant influence in their own confidence.
Scouting will draw the entire family in to the program…..this is a good thing. In our family, my husband stepped up to be the Scout Master and I am the advancement chair.
I jokingly warn new parents of my own personal philosophy, “Scouting is not an activity, it is a way of life.”
Mrs. Rowe – you are an inspiration! I too, think they need a “truth-in-advertising” clause! I am going to print this off and give it to all our “new” scout parents – to get their buy-in on contributing to the troop.
As we are always told “if you volunteer, it is only an hour a week”. HA – we scout parents know the truth! But what a better way to spend time with your son(s) and watching them grow and mature! Your son has gained a new family of fans!
Mrs. Rowe: My husband and I are both scout leaders and committee members. Your words have been an inspiration to me. I know see where Mike gets his gift for words. I loved watching his show live at Jambo. My son attended the Jambo, he called me all excited that he got to shake Mike’s hand, and how much he loved his show. I just ordered a shirt that Mike wore that night. I hope someday we have the opportunity to have it autographed. Mike’s words have lit a fire under my son again.
Thank you
Anyone involved in Scouts can relate to every experience you dscribed. Scouting enriches all our lives. My son is doing things he and we never thought he would. This week my son enjoyed seeing your son at the Jamboree. Yea, Boy Scouts!
Sounds a lot like my scouting experience! Just sent my two boys to week long scout camp (tenderfoot and first class). It is quiet! Knowing that the star of their favorite tv show is an Eagle Scout has really encouraged them to reach for that goal. Scouting is awesome!
Thank you for your story. As you know you are not alone. I watched Mike last night on my computer remembering all the times I as the scout mom took them camping. They have outgrown having mom along. Now, that carefree week sometimes feels lonely as I know how much fun they are having without me. I look forward to their return on Wednesday to hear the tales and know how men like Mike have inspired them. Thank you for sharing your son with the 45,000 at Jamboree and the untold futures he has inspired.
Thanks for the article. I’m a single mom of a scout. Noah, age 13 now, has been in scouts since first grade. He was a charter member of his cub scout troop at his elementary school. Now he’s waiting to finish his scout master conference to earn his Star rank. I’m so proud of him for sticking with it and doing all that is required of a scout. I hope to one day be able to say to you that he has earned his Eagle rank! Thanks for your article. It’s very obvious to see your love for your sons and your pride in their accomplishments. My son also enjoys watching Mike on his shows. He’s an inspiration to many young men out there!
Take care!
Mrs. Rowe,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story about your family and Scouting.
My wife and I got our son involved in Cub Scouts in the First Grade and now he is 3 merit badges and a Service Project away from completing his Eagle Rank. He’ll be 15 next February. For the most part he enjoys scouting – there’ve been a couple of hiccups, but I’m sure you know what I mean. Your story here will serve as a true inspiration to motivate Damien forward on his Eagle Trail, as he is a real “Dirty Jobs” and “Deadliest Catch” fan.
As for those detractors who say they have their scouts do their own sewing, I say there’s nothing better to prove leadership than the ability to delegate tasks to those better able.
Considering the results, I’d say you did just fine.
Thanks for sharing your story,
–
Darren Remington